


For The Ephemeral Ones

by Ari_0210



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Axetale, Dreams, F/M, Halloween, Hallucinations, Mild Hurt/Comfort, sans is a great dad, someone's already dead, thus major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 13:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21254204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ari_0210/pseuds/Ari_0210
Summary: Sans talks to his late wife.





	For The Ephemeral Ones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thebananahasspoken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebananahasspoken/gifts).

> This story is based on the AU Axetale created by thebananafrappe and azulandrojo. If you are unfamiliar with the AU, I suggest you look it up on Google, it's amazingly heartbreaking.  
As I'm not the original creator it contains headcanons of my own, so please keep that in mind.

The fierce blizzard had been continuing for long and days had gone by without any food supply. A couple days of starvation did not bother Sans much; he had enough willpower to last weeks if necessary. No, the problem was that, there were two more mouths to feed. Both of whom he would not be able to live without, if he had lost any of the either. He could not put it off any longer; today was _the_ day he had to go out and hunt for something. Sans took his axe and exited his room. Aliza was spread out on the couch, groaning like a zombie, apparently barely carrying the energy to sit straight. Papyrus seemed to be in the kitchen― the banging and clashing sounds of kitchen supplies made it hard to be unaware. What's he doing in there, Sans thought, we're absolutely out of ingredients. He trusted that Papyrus wasn't doing anything dangerous, since lately he seemed... well, not good, but less violent.

"'liza," Sans spoke, "i'm going out. gotta get you something to eat."

Aliza weakly sat up from her position.

"No, Dad, stay. It's too cold outside. I can― we can still bear it. Right, Paps?"

She raised her voice and called out to Papyrus, trying to sound cheerful. There was a loud _thump_ in the kitchen. Perhaps Papyrus had dropped something. Afraid that he might have hurt himself, Sans prepared to dart for the kitchen, but his brother was faster.

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS AS HEALTHY AS A HORSE, HE WILL NEVER FALTER FROM A SIMPLE LACK OF ALIMENT!"

Papyrus claimed, holding a ladle in his hand like a military general holding up his sword to encourage his soldiers. Aliza giggled. It was nice to see Papyrus looking as animated as ever, but Sans knew that Papyrus' vigorous facade often meant little, for he'd been constantly fooling himself as of late. He played along anyway.

"sure, 'liza, pap, i know you two're tough little fellas, but uh, truth is, i'm the one who's kinda, running out of energy here, so."

Sans scratched the back of his skull sheepishly, to add plausibility to the lie. He was never more grateful for his ever present grin, because he'd never felt good lying to his family. It wasn't entirely a lie either, he'd really prefer to not let himself become cranky. Luckily, they seemed to buy it.

"I CANNOT ALLOW ANYONE TO SUFFER FROM FAMINE! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO LEAVE AND PERFORM THE ACT OF LOCATING FOOD, IF ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE. THE SNOW QUEEN IS STILL VERY IRATE. I IMAGINE GERDA HAS NOT FOUND THE BOY YET― BUT WHAT WAS HIS NAME AGAIN."

"don't worry bro, you know i'm faster than a giraffe."

Sans deliberately brushed the reference aside (not that he knew the story well). Aliza, wearing a very worried expression, grabbed one of his hands.

"Seriously, Daddy, please be careful. If you don't find anything, you can just come back, one or two more days inside won't hurt. It's bad enough that I can't be of any help when it comes to searching for food."

Okay, so she didn't buy it. She'd learned some tricks and survival skills from him, but nowhere near enough to accompany him on his little journey. Sans never allowed her to follow him, and doubted that he ever would. He bent his knees and looked her in the eye.

"whaddya mean, precious, you're the very reason i live. if that isn't help, i don't know what is."

Aliza pretended to pout but the corners of her mouth slightly pulled up. He affectionately ruffled her hair, then made his way to the front door. Papyrus was still busy rambling about reasons why the weather didn't clear, but Aliza followed him. As he closed the door, he saw her waving to him through the crack and he waved back. The aghast expression he'd see on other monsters' faces if they ever caught him like this! Granted, it was impossible, since anybody that up close would turn into their evening meal.

Meal. He won't come back before he found _anything_. He tightened his grip on the axe.

* * *

He'd rummaged through the whole town, ransacking every unoccupied building for any supply of food. To no avail. There wasn't a scrap of food left, and if there were, someone else had already taken it. He'd tried to steer clear of danger's path today, but the chances were very slim in the first place. He shouldn't be disappointed; with the Hunger running rampant, there was no other option but to eat or be eaten. He hoped he would be in shape enough when he got home so as not to startle his family. He'd have to rest in the hut if necessary.

He did not enjoy hunting during a snowstorm like this. He didn't get frostbite like the others, but the snow obstructed his peripheral vision, plus every monster stayed indoors. One would think Snowdin monsters would be immune, but that came to be very untrue. Sans wasn't sure whether he should blame the blizzard for it, or the fact that he himself wiped out nearly every single monster in sight.

i mean, he thought grimly, it's their own goddamn fault for bein' so weak.

Maybe he should have left some of them to breed, he mused half jokingly while leaning on his axe and rubbing a phalange between his eyes. What if he'd made a breeding farm of some kind, lock monsters in there and threaten to kill them unless they obeyed. Though, obviously, they would devour one another faster than he can say―

"temmie?"

He stood up straight. What the hell was a temmie doing here? And alone, for that matter. Temmies usually moved in groups to ambush their prey, given that a single temmie was too small to fight. Nevertheless, the unkempt black hair and grimy fur that might once have been pristine white, was unmistakably that of a temmie's. He looked around, but there was no other temmie in sight. Well, this really saved him the hassle of having to go all the way to Waterfall. He would have, if he had absolutely no luck in gathering food, but he really didn't want to be too far from home.

Attempting to catch the temmie off guard, he lunged at it in full force, lifting his axe in the air to chop its body in half. As he lowered, however, he saw four more temmies spring out of the snow and fling at him. He tried to dodge quickly, but the fatigue he'd accumulated that day made his movements more sluggish and he'd reacted too late.

"shit!"

The temmies were on him at once. One was chomping on his ankle, making it bleed, the others clung on his clothes and tried to claw their way through. The sleeves of his jacket were already frayed. Deciding that teleporting was useless, he dealt with them one by one, alternating between his axe and magic, inevitably hurting himself in the process.

Soon he was able to take them all down; he didn't survive this long out of sheer luck. Two had already died and become dust, but the other three were more tenacious but were barely alive. As he looked down at the scattered bodies, panting, he could feel that his HP was very low. He saw his hands shaking while he strived to pick the bodies up and put them in a sack. Okay, yeah, he's certainly seen better days. He definitely had to take rest in the shed, that would make him better in no time, right?

Sans tried to teleport but there was not enough magic left in his bones. He gritted his teeth and carefully took a step towards the shed, doing his best not to think negative thoughts. But walking was so hard. Why was it so hard to walk? His eyesight was starting to become hazy, he was not even sure where he was headed to anymore but kept moving forward, clenching his teeth, dragging the sack along and using his axe as support. He did not realize he was leaving a trail of blood behind him.

Just as his house came into sight from a distance, his knees buckled and Sans collapsed on the snow with a dull _thump_, the force of his fall alleviated by the thick layer of snow. He endeavored to lift himself up. He knew that he couldn't sleep here, that he could gradually die, he had to get home to...... to who? Where was his home? Why should he resist? Slowly he was losing the ability to reason. What little determination he had was leaving him. Right now all he could remember was that he was so tired, _bone_ tired, and giving in to this fatigue may not be such a poor idea. After all, going back to her side can't be so bad... They'd be happy again... The last thing he recalled before losing consciousness was a name, the name that haunted him in his dreams.

"frisk..."

* * *

"..a. ... p. ... ns.. . ey, ... . .. .."

A faint sound interrupted Sans' deep slumber. He scowled. He didn't want to open his eyes yet, let alone not having the energy.

"shaddup, paps... lemme..."

He murmured, burying his face into the pillow once again. It felt strangely icy and barely snuggly. Wait, was there even a pillow? Did he leave his window open yesterday? The wind blowing against his body felt freezing.

The voice, distant as if it was from a past life, hindered Sans from falling back asleep.

"You can't sleep here, honey."

Sans' eye sockets snapped open. His visions were still very blurry, but not from lack of magic. They moved towards what had been shaking him awake, and struggled to focus as he blinked furiously. Finally, his eyesights cleared. The first thing that came into view was warm brown eyes that resembled the shade of melted chocolate. Then delicate facial features that settled on a small face, and the bobbed brown hair, and the striped blue and purple sweater, and shorts that seemed too cold. Sans froze in place.

"... .. . ... . . . ... fr...i―"

Then he closed his mouth shut, anxious that calling her name might dissipate the magic of this moment. She smiled sadly, knowingly.

"I'm right here, baby. Right here."

Her hand reached out to touch his cheekbone. Without turning his gaze away Sans slowly sat upright. They stared at each other for several minutes in silence. Sans tentatively opened his mouth.

"you... you're back."

He was still too afraid that she might disappear at any moment, leaving him with nothing but the cold, bitter solitude. Though this image of her was more vivid than any other hallucinations he'd seen, he knew she couldn't be real. Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her face as Sans moved to hesitantly touch her face. She shook her head wistfully.

"then... am i finally dead?"

She shook her head again.

"No, honey. It's all in your head. A dream, you could say."

Sans shakily wiped her tears off and she leaned into his hand, closing her eyes and letting the tears run. It should have been freezing cold outside, but the tears burned against his fingers. Or perhaps it was his heart that was burning away. Sans scooched closer and wrapped his arms around her. His own tears were threatening to come, but he fought with determination. His voice, however, betrayed him.

"i... i missed... i missed you... so much... i missed you, frisk..."

Saying her name out loud felt like setting his throat on fire. The name felt so alien, yet so familiar, so right. Her body felt as though she had no body temperature; it was cold and warm at the same time. Hugging Frisk was like hugging snow, there was nothing to hold on to, like her existence could melt away in a second. Perhaps hugging Napstablook would have been similar. Sans held on tighter, and soon she embraced him back. The way she gently rubbed his back was so comforting, he could not help but shed a few tears of his own. If this was a dream, Sans wished that he would never wake up.

After a while she pulled away from him so she could look at his face but held on to his hands. Frisk was not crying anymore, and Sans was still stuttering about how much he missed her.

"frisk, i missed you... i wanted to... d'you know how much i..."

"Shh, baby, shh, it's okay. I felt the same way."

Frisk caressed the crack in his skull. Sans had always thought it looked hideous, but if she was shocked, she did not show it. It almost felt like she was looking at his old self. The old, careless self, without a cracked skull and an uncanny mind. Well, that wasn't true; he'd always been a bit of a wacko.

"You've done so well, Sans. I'm so proud of you."

He wanted to say something to her too but his mind had gone empty. He'd spent away countless nights thinking about what to tell Frisk if he met her again, but it was as if those nights had never existed. All he could do was stare at her, engrave her face in his mind again and again to remember for the rest of his life. He kept his eyes wide open to keep from crying again. If he cried, his visions would blur.

"Don't you... blame me?"

Frisk hesitantly asked. He realized at once that Frisk had always blamed herself, for the imprisonment of monsters, that the question had been constantly eating away at her. But Sans knew that it wasn't her fault at all. It was Flowey's, and his to an extent because he had not been able to stop Flowey. He answered sincerely.

"you did your best."

"..."

"you ain't a god, frisk. you can't try to save everyone."

Frisk's head dropped, and for a moment she did not say a word. Sans thought she might have started crying again and reached out, but when she raised her head there was no tear. Instead her eyes were filled with desperation and undecipherable depths of pain.

"My best... wasn't enough. Sans, I could have done anything, _everything_, but... I didn't. Worse, I couldn't even give it a try. Because of my own fragility that kept me locked up."

She clutched his hand with both hands like it was a lifeline. Her fingers were trembling. Her whole body was trembling. Sans hopelessly wanted it to stop, but he was powerless.

"Sans, do you have any idea how I... what I... Knowing that I'd betrayed every single soul in the Underground, knowing that you were stuck down here waiting for me, while I, weak as I was, couldn't even convince a single person that I wasn't going mad."

He couldn't think of anything to say. How could he dare to offer words of consolation?

"It wasn't the surface that pained me, Sans."

After all, it was he who had caused her the suffering.

While Frisk rested her head on Sans' chest to calm down and he hesitantly put his jacket around her, he briefly wondered if they shouldn't have fallen in love. Was it all a mistake from the beginning? He'd avoided the thought as much as he could, but now that it had occurred, he couldn't stop feeling guilty. If she'd spent her whole life missing him, if all that he'd given her was torment, wouldn't it have been better―

He came around when he felt Frisk place a small kiss on his teeth.

"You're blaming yourself, aren't you."

It was a rhetorical question. He only shrugged. Frisk sighed.

"I should have known you'd take it the wrong way. I don't regret any of my life down _here_, silly. Our love was the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me. And we got to meet Aliza, remember?"

Sans blinked. Aliza? ...Aliza. Oh, right. Aliza. Frisk smiled.

"She's such a delightful young lady. Who would have thought you had a knack for parenting?"

"'s cause she takes after you a lot. Just as sweet, just as stubborn."

He shrugged, not denying it. The sound of her laugh was like a thousand silver bells tinkling delicately. Then her brows furrowed ever so slightly for a millisecond, but Sans was too distracted to notice it.

"You're already a much better parent than I am, so I know I may not have a say in this, but please... will you do your best to protect Aliza? From predators, dangers, from... evil. There are so many things out there that are after her."

He gave her a 'do you even need to ask' look, but still proceeded to answer.

"'course, hon. you have my word."

Frisk smiled, seeming relieved. After giving his hand a gentle squeeze, she stood up. Confused, Sans looked up at her.

"going somewhere?"

"I've kept you for too long, Sans. Your life will be in danger if you stay any longer."

"what? no, we've barely talked―"

He tried to grab her arms, but his hands phased right through them. Frisk's body was fading away. Or was it his body? He couldn't tell.

"I love you, Sans. Stay strong. I love you."

"no, wait, no, frisk, please don't, no, stay! please, don't leave me again! frisk!"

He sobbed, begging her through streaming tears, rising to his feet and attempting to hold on to her and keep her from leaving. The sudden movement caused him to sway slightly. All that he could seize was a fistful of air, and his jacket fell―

And then Sans fell flat on his face, onto the snow.

"Whoa, Dad! Are you okay? Are you awake? Are you sleepwalking? Do you need help?"

A very familiar young voice started firing questions at him like a submachine gun while helping him sit up. He blinked absent-mindedly. There, to his side, looking at him like a deer in the headlight, was... Frisk?

No, he blinked again, and it was Aliza. She had dried up trails of something on her face. Had she been crying?

"Dad? Are you... okay?"

"'liz..."

They stared at each other for several minutes. Then Sans frowned.

"what are you doing out here, Aliza."

Aliza gulped.

"Well, I... you were taking too long, and I just decided that I'd take a look, you know, just around the house! Honestly, I didn't even come that far, and I saw you sprawled on the ground, and I was worried and I came, but you... you weren't waking up."

Her voice became fainter and fainter, and she fidgeted, not meeting his eyes.

"I... thought you were dead, Daddy. I know monsters turn to dust when they die, but..."

Sans gently stroked her head. She blushed, looking embarrassed. Nowadays she often claimed that she was not a kid anymore, but he knew she still liked it.

"i promised i'd come back, princess. i hate making promises, but when i do, i try to keep 'em."

Aliza sniffed, then sneezed. He decided that it was time to head back.

"alright, let's get you home. don't want you catching something and _coffin_ all day, do we."

"...Gah, I think I'm already sick."

He chuckled, bending down to gather his things. He paused when he saw his jacket on the ground. Did he take it off while he was unconscious? He thought for a moment, then shrugged. Maybe he really did sleepwalk after all. The blizzard had stopped, so walking back home was no trouble.

"Daddy, did you know? It's Halloween on the surface today."

"what's that, precious?"

"It's the day the dead return from their sleep. I hope I can see mom in my dreams tonight."

From the corner of his eyes, he thought he saw something small and red flutter away. Strange, how was there a butterfly in this weather? It was going to die soon. He wished it would persist, though he didn't know why.

**Author's Note:**

> So is it a dream or is it real, one may ask. Who's to say dreams aren't real?  
I always have this little personal tradition of writing something on Halloween. I've been thinking about writing this for a while, and the timing was too perfect, so.  
As for my other work, I promise I'll be updating it on November, I proooooooomise. I'm a strong independent person, I can keep promises. #totallynotpromotingmywork  
Happy Halloween, guys.


End file.
